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Writer's pictureUP Babaylan

From a queer kid who cares


As if it wasn't hard enough to grow up in a world that called me unacceptable and my existence a sin, it also made it hard for me to learn to love someone genuinely. Although butterflies in the stomach were magical, it isn't as easy when everybody else thinks otherwise.


So I cannot blame you for keeping your love all to yourselves and for trying to forget how chaotic the rest of the world is.


You try to forget the daggering stares of strangers that would glare at your intertwined hands and the hundreds of ears that could hear your whispered “I love you's.” And when you try to curl your hands around their waist, you stop, because the empty air between your hands and their hips sends electricity and you are reminded that in that room, you are not together, and they are not the love of their life.


You whimper because it's unfair. How could holding hands under the tables and brushing against each other’s legs ever amount to wrapping your arms around them and playfully kissing their cheeks?


I know what it is like to spend time with the person that you love and feel like you stole them for reasons you don't even understand, and I am telling you right now that it really is unfair.


It is unfair to not be able to act obnoxious and loud being in love. It is unfair to not tell a single soul about the one thing that makes you the happiest. You are in the closet with someone but somehow, it had never felt even lonelier being in it alone.


I would like to remind you that someday, you are going to shout about it. Whatever it is that is in your way now, you'll get past it. If you're scared, we are here, a whole community is backing you up. Just hang in there.


And I would like to remind you even more that you deserve to love as loud as you want to and as loud as you can. The world is in dire need of something as pure as the love that you are sharing, don't let people who refuse to understand hinder what you have to give.



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