Hey there! In a world where cis genders and gender binaries are the norm, know that it’s okay not to have a gender that falls under the norm—and that doesn’t make you a problem. You are valid for wanting to hear another pronoun spoken than what society says should be for you. You are valid for wanting to hear a different pronoun depending on the day. You are valid for feeling weird when you are called ‘daughter’ or ‘son’ if those words aren’t exactly the best ones to use for you. It’s okay to need time and space to figure yourself out. And it’s okay for you to take long—or a short amount of time. You don’t have to tell the world, and you can even just keep it to yourself. Just do not hate yourself for it: for not being the daughter/son your parents wanted, for the possible weight on your friends for the change of pronouns, for the added baggage in your life that would come with a gender identity that is not the norm. You are not at fault. You are never at fault. On behalf of the world, I’m sorry you have to hide yourself, lie to yourself, just so you will be safe. You are valid. I love you. And there will be other people to love you, whether you be trans, non-binary, agender, bigender, genderfluid, demigender, or any other gender in the spectrum that I don’t know about yet. Just know that it’s okay. You’re okay. You’re not alone. And you’re not a mistake or a problem. You are different—unique. And that’s okay. That’s perfectly, amazingly okay. And as a bonus, I just wanna say how liberating it feels to stop fighting who you are, even if it’s a truth you mostly only tell yourself. I am a closeted bigender person: sometimes I feel like a boy, sometimes a girl, sometimes both at the same time. That’s my experience (though bigender is not limited to a male/female experience), which I had denied for a long time because it would be even harder for people to understand, especially if I come out to my parents. Then I realized, the important part is telling myself the truth, not other people knowing. Life has felt... more whole since then. But again, have all the time you need for that. No one else has to know if you don’t want them to know—just know that you’re valid even if you’re not a cis girl or a cis boy.
-Anon, a bisexual, bigender, 2nd year student from UP Diliman
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