I guess you’re reading this because you bear the same cross as I do. I hope this gives you encouragement to live out your life as best as you can, knowing that two worlds considered separate can be united in someone so fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). When I was younger, I thought that love was only shared between men and women. As I grew older, I came to learn that love goes beyond that. I realized I had the capacity to love people regardless of their sexuality and gender. But with that realization came crippling thoughts and feelings of self-doubt. Was my love not right? Not valid? Not enough? Perhaps that’s what being in a cloistered environment for most of one’s life does. I was so conditioned into believing a certain thought pattern to the point that I struggled (and still do) with internalized homophobia. It didn’t help that I was raised thinking that I was an abomination, a disgrace. Day and night I cried out to Someone up there, demanding an explanation as to why I was the way I am. Kasalanan po ba maging ako? I searched for a safe space where I can find my answers. To my surprise, the answers came to me through a priest. He told me, “This is how you were created. Be proud of who you are! It is normal and it is perfectly okay to struggle; God loves you and is with you always.” Through him and his words, I discerned that there’s nothing wrong in choosing to love and be loved. There have been many times when I was met with prejudice and utter dislike by people who share the same faith as I do. Trust me, nothing hurts as much as people suddenly turning their back on you because they couldn’t see you the same way He does. Despite that, I choose to meet them with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness, just as Christ did (Ephesians 4:32). To this day, it’s still challenging to reconcile my faith and my identity. But after many conversations with that priest, I am more confident in who I am. My ability to love men, women, & everyone in between and beyond doesn’t make me feel loved any less. I am His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10) and in His eyes I have never been anything less than worthy. Realizing that I am secure in His perfect love has only pushed me further to be like Him: someone who accepts people as they are, someone who strives to see the good in everything, someone who recognizes when acts of injustice are committed, and decides to stand with the oppressed. Sure, every day may be a struggle, but it is also an adventure. In coming to terms with who we are meant to be and the great plans He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11), we are able to help the world realize that there is freedom and love in being a queer Christian.
-Anon