I was never man enough.
My years of adolescence circled around the convention that having a penis means having to live as tough and strong. Knowing that time, I already knew I wasn't man enough.
I became timid with time. Instead of having an unwavering heart of gold, I had a soft and wrinkled one. Tears were never befitting for a man. Then and then, I already knew I wasn't man enough.
Neither did I like the superheroes nor playing with their action figures. Superman and Batman never did fit my mold. Neither did I play the guitar nor even begin to like it. I was entangled with the piano and the violin but I knew I liked it. Just by that, I knew I wasn't man enough.
I questioned what it was to be a man because I didn’t want to be confined in such traditions. Funny how we normalize what it is a man should and should not do, and who he should be.
Then and then I already knew I wasn't man enough. But if having to be a man is already dictated I don't want to be a man.
I am not man enough. And that's okay.
Love,
Another gay kid from Benguet